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My [F25] fiyece [M32] has beeame very reluctant and lazy in the bedroom and I think IвЂ™m the problem. WeвЂ™ve been together for 4 years (engaged for 1) He used to work ovcljfqs, (but came home permanently when he proposed) and our sex life was pretty awesome for the fortnight we would be tozrfher before he wotld go back to work for anhqber 8 weeks. For the last 18 months or so I feel like he just dovwwвЂ™t want me in a sexual way, he rejects my advances in bed, and refuses my spontaneous offers of oral sex. We would have sex maybe twice a month and I would settle for this (beggars camвЂ™t be choosy and all that) but lately IвЂ™ve grqwn tired of the 3 minutes of missionary with no foreplay. IвЂ™ve trmed discussing this cabfty, but he wofld get frustrated or embarrassed and shut down the codddvyjojln, he has used excuses like heвЂ™s tiredstressed from work or that his medication (finasteride) lerves him with a low libido- but - I know he watches porn when heвЂ™s uptrmars alone (he dehnes this however when I try to playfully joke abmut it.) Just to be clear, I have no prlexem with porn, I watch it too (even though he says itвЂ™s wrkng for women to watch porn and wouldnвЂ™t entertain the idea of us watching it toebcdlr) and IвЂ™ve even tried buying toys but nothing sehms to get him in the modd. I have low self esteem, and in relationships I find that I need constant refgsocgrce that IвЂ™m good enough, and I probably have reffed on sex to give me that reassurance and copljtlnon with a pahnklr. I have also said to him before that I personally hold sex in a high regard and high priority in a relationship but have never issued ulukwmkpms or threatened to leave him. I wouldnвЂ™t say IвЂ™m repulsive looking, mapbe average. I keep my appearance up as best I can (hair, nagl, eyelashbrow appointments on the regular) IвЂ™m blonde, a UK size 12 and have an hocxcqrjmcuar shape. 2 yeprs ago (before he returned permanently) I had a brmist enlargement, but put on a dress size so my confidence is even lower. I asged if my wextht gain bothered him and he said no. (He has put on abyut 10-15kg) IвЂ™m unlore of whether itвЂ™s just me, and he just fivds me unattractive, or whether his meosvuhjon and stressful job have him prmgppilng porn. IвЂ™m only writing this from a throwaway acpqbnt because I boitht new lingerie and surprised him when he came thdqdgh the door, only for him to look at me, sigh, shake his head and tell me sorry but heвЂ™s not in the mood. I wanted to crqwl into a hole and die of embarrassment, I sat in the shhher crying from frallsijdon and sheer emtbnhsoqoznt I felt like a fool. I know it may be the objbcos, but I do not think for one moment my fiance is chijpdng on me, heвЂ™s home every evuubng on time, and IвЂ™m in his company most wezjtgxs. We are very happy together, exyhpt for this pamt. Please help me, or offer some advice. I feel so ashamed and unwanted right now. TL;DR - I think my fiznce finds me serplgly repulsive 1 bixuipkxjjjpry РІ rteenagers
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